Upcoming birthday

On the 30th, Bella would be 9 years old.

As the days get closer, I sit and think about what kind of stuff she would be into. What kind of party would I be planning for her. What kind of cake she would want....and it becomes all too real for me....she'll never celebrate another birthday. She'll never blow out candles and make her wish.

As our children get their school pictures, and we display them with pride....her picture will always be the same. She will always be 7.
I think about the day I'll see her face again. Will she still be 7, or will she be grown? One can only wonder.

I miss her so much. When I start to think about her, I find myself forcing myself to try and think about something else. There's nothing worse then that gut wrenching pain that changes the whole outcome of your day. I'm sure everyone has felt that...the feeling of losing something so dear to you...that throbbing pain in your heart that migrates down to the pit of your stomach and is a knot of unforgettable pain.

Even though she is not with us, we will still be celebrating the day she came into this world. We will celebrate the life she had.